Beer and Wheels

A short history lesson

The two most important events in all of history were the invention
of beer and the invention of the wheel. Beer required grain and that
was the beginning of agriculture.

Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while
our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented,
they just stayed close to the brewery. That’s how villages were
formed.

The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vice versa. These
two were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the
catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals. 2. Conservatives.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night
while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known
as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were less skilled at hunting (called ‘vegetarians’ which
was an early human word meaning ‘bad hunter’) learned to live off the
Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ’s and doing the
sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the
liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men evolved into women. Others became known as
girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the
domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and
the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and
beer that Conservatives provided.

Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,
most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are
symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

Modern Liberals like lite beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal
fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: many liberal women
have higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most college professors, social workers, personal injury attorneys,
journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group therapists and community
organizers are liberals. Liberals meddled in our national pastime and
invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn’t fair to make the
pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for
their women. Conservatives are members of the military, big game
hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen,
medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives,
athletes, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works productively.
Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to
work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals
remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America. They
crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of
trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today’s lesson in world history. It should be noted that a
liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute
truth of this history that it will be shared immediately to other true
believers and to just piss-off more liberals.

And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self, I’m
going to grab a few beers and grill some steaks!

 

The Angry Man

For all the interest groups pandering that shapes modern American politics, the group that may well have decided the election has comedown to the demographic of “The Angry Man.”
The Angry Man is difficult to stereotype. He comes from all economic-backgrounds, from dirt-poor to filthy rich. He represents all geographic areas in America, from sophisticated urbanite to rural redneck, Deep South to Yankee North, Left Coast to Eastern Seaboard.

No matter where he’s from, Angry Men share many common traits; they aren’t asking for anything from anyone other than the promise to be able to make their own way on a level playing field. In many cases, they are independent businessmen and employ several people. They pay
more than their share of taxes and they work hard. Damn hard, for what they have and intend to keep.

He’s used to picking up the tab, whether it’s the Christmas party for the employees at his company, three sets of braces, college educations or a beautiful wedding or two. Not because he was forced to, but because it’s the right thing to do.

The Angry Man believes the Constitution should be interpreted as it was written. It is not as a “living document” open to the whims and vagaries of appointed judges and political winds.

The Angry Man owns firearms, and he’s willing to pick up a gun and use it in defense of his home, his country and his family. He is willing to lay down his life to defend the freedom and safety of others, and the thought of killing someone if necessary to achieve those goals gives him only momentary pause.

The Angry Man is not, and never will be, a victim. Nobody like him drowned in Hurricane Katrina. He got his people together and got the hell out. Then, he went back in to rescue those who needed help or were too stupid to help themselves in the first place. He was selfless in this, just as often a civilian as a police officer, a National Guard soldier or a volunteer firefighter. Victim hood syndrome buzzwords; “disenfranchised,” “marginalized” and “voiceless” don’t
resonate with The Angry Man. “Press ‘one’ for English” is a curse-word to him.

His last name, his race and his religion don’t matter. His ancestry might be Italian, English, African, Polish, German, Slavic, Irish, Russian, Hispanic or any of a hundred others. What does matter is that he considers himself in every way to be an American. He is proud of this country and thinks that if you aren’t, you are whole-heartedly encouraged to find one that suits you and move there.

The Angry Man is usually a man’s man. The kind of guy who likes to play poker, watch football, go hunting, play golf, maintain his own vehicles and build things. He coaches kid’s baseball, soccer and football and doesn’t ask for a penny. He’s the kind of guy who can put an addition on his house with a couple of friends, drill an oil well,
design a factory or work the land. He can fill a train with 100,000 tons of coal and get it to the power plant so that you can keep the lights on while never knowing everything it took to do that. The Angry Man is the backbone of this country.

He’s not racist, but is truly disappointed and annoyed, when people exhibit behavior that typifies the worst stereotypes of their ethnicity. He’s willing to give everybody a fair chance if they’re willing to work hard and play by the rules. He expects other people to do the same. Above all, he has integrity in everything he does.

The Angry Man votes, and he loathes the dysfunction now rampant in government. It’s the victim groups being pandered to and the “poor me” attitude that they represent. The inability of politicians to give a straight answer to an honest question. The tax dollars that are given to people who simply don’t want to do anything for themselves. The fact that, because of very real consequences, he must stay within a budget but for some obscure reason the government he finances doesn’t.
Mostly, it’s the blatantly arrogant attitude displayed implying that we are too stupid to run our own lives and only people in government are smart enough to do that.

The Angry Man has reached his limit. When a social justice agitator goes on TV, leading some rally for Black Lives Matter, safe spaces or other such nonsense, he may bite his tongue but, he remembers. When a child gets charged with carrying a concealed weapon for mistakenly bringing a penknife to school, he takes note of who the local idiots are in education and law enforcement.

But when government officials are repeatedly caught red-handed breaking the law and getting off scot-free, The Angry Man balls-up his fists and readies himself for the coming fight. He knows that this fight, will be a live or die situation, so he prepares fully. Make no mistake, this is a fight in which he is not willing to lose and he will never give up.

Obama calls him a Clinger.
Hillary Calls him Deplorable.
Bill calls him Redneck.
Feminists calls him Sexist.
ISIS calls him an Infidel.
Donald Trump calls him an American.

by anonymous